Trevor Gernon issued the statement about the death of his son Cash in a more than four-minute YouTube video, posted on his sister’s account on Sunday.
“I do not wish this nightmare on any parent,” Gernon said. “You have no idea how hard it has been for all of us, or how hard it is to hold it together while everyone pits your family apart … all attention and time should be reserved for Cash.”
Gernon said he had left twin sons, Cash and Carter, with his ex-girlfriend, Monica Sherwood, in Dallas while he moved back to Houston because he thought it was in the boys’ “best interest to not disrupt their routine.”
“This choice I made with the best of intentions has resulted in the most horrific outcome,” Gernon said. “I have paid the most painful and ultimate of price for my poor judgment. And I have to live with this devastation every single day.”
He added: “I will never forgive myself. If I could I’d go back and do everything [differently]. This is a nightmare that doesn’t go away once I open my eyes in the morning.”
Gernon said he understands why Melinda Seagroves, the boy’s biological mother, and Connie, their grandmother, are angry with him for failing to keep their son out of danger.
“I understand how Mindy and Connie could be upset and want to do and say things to me because he was in my care,” Gernon said. “If it had happened in her care, I’d hold her responsible too. Mindy, I am so sorry that I failed to keep him safe. That was my job as a dad, and I wasn’t able to do that. I’m sorry.”
Monica Sherrod, the ex-girlfriend of the children’s father, previously told reporters that Gernon had left Dallas after being ordered by a court to go to rehab, the New York Post reported.
Gernon said he has “to fear for my freedom, as it is the goal of some to see me go to jail rather than grieve the loss of my little boy.”
Police said Sherrod identified the person who took Cash Gernon from his bed at around 5 a.m. Saturday, May 15, as 18-year-old Darriynn Brown.
A police detective watched the home surveillance video with Sherrod, who identified Brown as the man who took the boy from his crib, according to the detective’s arrest affidavit obtained by The Dallas Morning News.
The affidavit does not detail Brown’s relationship to Cash’s family or offer any explanation for Brown taking the child.
Brown is being held on charges of kidnapping and burglary.
The girlfriend called the police shortly before 11 a.m. Saturday to say Cash Gernon was missing. Police had found the boy dead around 6:50 a.m. about a half-mile from her home.
Dallas Assistant Police Chief Albert Martinez has said it appeared the child suffered a violent death and that “an edged weapon” was used.
Brown’s bond is set at $1.5 million.
Authorities have said additional charges are expected once forensic evidence has been reviewed.
The Associated Press contributed to this report.